A bit of background information to help express my life-changing moment today: I graduated from college with a degree in art history, after a failed go at interior design (I just cannot find it within myself to be vindictive or the required level of competitive... and I didn't want to try to find those traits). I discovered that I loved art, loved making art, only wanted to study and be surrounded by art. I had high hopes that upon graduation, I would find the perfect gallery job that offered me the opportunity to share what I had learned with others, and encouraged me to create on my own. None such luck. Not that I resent how life has unfolded; quite the opposite. I currently work part-time at a local comic book store. It is a fun atmosphere and requires very little of me. Which I think is a source of my current artist's block or "wall"; each job I have had since graduating has deflated my dream a bit, has added a brick to the wall that keeps me from doing what I love, what I desire, to do. It is not so high that I can't climb over it, but it is still there, and on certain days, like today, it is just high enough to keep me out of the realm of art and creativity just beyond it. Perhaps I'm getting a bit dramatic, but I am describing something I am passionate about, or rather, how I am kept from it.
However, there is still that smoldering ash within that wants to be re-lit, to be fed, and never be put out. This leads me to the excitement of finding others' creativity thriving. It feels almost as if seeing another artist doing what they love and so well adds a little tinder to my fire, knocks down a brick or two.
Today I found a jewelry maker/designer... I am tempted to call her a jewelry "mother" because she creates and gives birth to such inspired pieces, but I know that sounds funny. Her name is Carrie Boucher, and she sells her pieces as Pink Crow Studio, on Etsy, Twitter, and Facebook (all of these things seem mundane to mention in the same context as her work, might I add). While I was doing nothing productive this morning/early afternoon, as per usual lately, I stumbled upon her work and her blog. Her work is beautiful, time-consuming, creative, and unique. Each piece is one-of-a-kind, and makes me feel how a pirate probably felt upon discovering a cache of gold dubloons... I covet, I want. But I will still share. What really caught me off-guard today was how fitting for my life one of her blog posts was. She was discussing task and time-management, which, let's be honest, I have MAJOR issues with. I am easily distracted and often unmotivated in the shadow of my brick wall. But Carrie had included a little video clip at the end of her post, and it changed the game for me. I have a lot of guilt associated with my wall; my husband doesn't understand why I don't just "go make stuff." I don't either really, there is physically no "wall" standing in my way, it is mental. So he can't see it.
I want you to watch this clip. It's about 20 minutes, but offers artists, writers, creatives of all types, a way to view the process and help dismantle the guilt or anxiety you may feel about your work.
After watching this, and typing this post, I think I am going to sit in my studio. Just sit. I have a feeling that something will be made. That is my hope anyway. I also hope I didn't bore you too much, and I promise my next post will be much more upbeat!